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this hearts masks

Posted on 2006.02.03 at 15:58
an edifice in the face I play
an emotional day
to fuck a soul out of it's grave
and burn this heart with obsession and ranting nonsense
these words mean nothing
no healing
no shame
no will to keep reserved the pain
want do I want of immortality
no poe
no kahn
no way to measure the decibels in my heart
stoic chains
a mask of solumn mind
and bamboo calm
what god is this
what choice have you given
to be bidden to words and unforgiven
I have lost my heart
along the way
many times it's the price I've paid
I've worn lovers like socks
they've all disintegrated
into the dust clouding my sight
choking my heart
and tearing my eyes
tearing my mind
with razor sharp awareness
I am a darwinian end game
no future in love for those who love it wholly
and that is such a mask
so ripe a grape
sour on the vine my life took shape
can I see back to the womb
to my childhood years
crying in mothers arms
with a hand on the back of my head
is this where I find my ache to be held
do I ache to be fucked?
I hate this vulgarity
the child reflected in me
to bring bitter words to a noble enterprise
vinegar for the friday fish dinner
I cannot continue this demise

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